I Want To Stay Home After Maternity Leave

I Want To Stay Home After Maternity Leave

I remember after having my first child the thought of having to go back to work was extremely overwhelming. I felt guilty and questioned why would I have children if I was not going to be around for the most important part of the little one’s life.

There is no right or wrong answer here, and choosing one over the other doesn’t make you a better or worse mother.

At the time all I could think about was if I was to stay at home how could we afford it, what would my husband think, what would I be giving up by not going back to work, what would people think of me and how do I get a break if some of my connections where broken by not returning to the work force.

I made sure that I talked to my husband about my above feelings and we worked through the planning, number crunching and soul searching to allow me to stay at home to look after my beautiful little man.

Here are some great tips that I used to help make it easier making a decision to not return to work.

1. Could We Afford It

The most difficult thing to overcome was how would the family be supported financially when prior to having a child we had two incomes coming into the household and overnight we went to one.

Both my husband and I sat down and work through what it would look like. We considered the costs that would occur by not going back to work and were quite surprised how much it would cost by returning to work. Here are some of the costs that you may think about if you where to return.

• Daycare
• Commuting Costs (tolls, gas, public transport
• Cost of lunches
• House cleaning costs if you don’t have the time
• Cost of work clothing if you need it
• Incidental spending costs

2. Could I Work From Home

I remember thinking back to when I was a child and always had a dream of having my own business. Both my husband and I discussed this and decided to investigate opportunities of starting a small home business of some sort as long as it didn’t interfere with bringing up the young one.

Their are so many opportunities available out there that with a little bit of research you may find something that might be ideal for you.

3. Could I Still Have A Social Life

I am a bit of a social bunny so that was a real concern to me. Life as a stay at home mum is rewarding in many different ways, but I always wondered how lonely it would be as I was accustomed to having constant access to social interaction. I investigated network opportunities to allow myself the time to have that social interaction. Starting my small business helped with that but also connecting to other mums going through the same thing really helped.

Now I meet regularly for coffee catch-ups and have even formed a fitness group with a bunch of mum’s that get together 3-4 days a week to keep in shape.

4: Ensure You Discuss Your Partner’s  Wishes 

It’s extremely important that you share how you feel with your partner. Open and honest communication will help him share his feelings and you and your partner will be able to make the decision together and support one another in whatever you both decide.

5: What Would Your Schedule Look Like

Consider the time lost driving to and from work. That time lost in sleep can be tough on a mum. I struggled with how I could manage everything as it is a big change with having a child and managing the needs of a family.

You need to consider how long are your work days? How long is your drive? If you do go back to work, how will you and your husband coordinate day care pickup and drop-off?

Consider your commute. Is it taking up time you could be spending with your family?

6: Your Happiness

The most important thing was that I was happy with the decision I wanted to make and stay home and not return back to work. Someone said to me “You will know what to do when the time comes to decide, you’ll know” and they where absolutely right.

Before you make a final decision, be sure to consider what will make you truly happy in the long run.

I now have 3 children and have been fortunate to be at home with all of them. I have been able to attend their sports days at school, their dance lessons after school, coffee mornings with friends all while supporting our income with running a small business from home. You to can achieve this.